favorite things

not a gift guide!

Ok, this is not a gift guide, but tis the gift guide season. I love gift guides, I love to look at a list of things and see if any of them feel extra sparkly to me. I don’t really use them for buying gifts, reading a gift guide feels more like window shopping, and I’ve always loved window shopping. But it doesn’t feel right for me personally to make a true gift guide, because there aren’t really any specific things on my own personal wish list right now. There is so much that is beautiful about giving gifts, but I also can’t escape the nagging feeling that gift season is also the height of our extreme problem with overconsumption. We buy more stuff! Because we have to? I think I feel pretty aware that most gift guides are just a bunch of cool things grouped together with affiliate links. Nothing wrong with that, but is that stuff all actually a true recommendation? Probably sometimes yes, probably sometimes no. What I find most intriguing is learning what people really use and really love. Things become a part of the fabric of our lives, and the things we use everyday are slowly infused with our very being. What things in our lives become sacrament just by virtue of our handling them every day? The way you go to an estate sale and feel the weight of someone’s life? That accumulation of days that builds within beloved objects. Our heirlooms, our particular treasures, our own stuff — that’s what I want to know about!

So this list is that — the stuff I truly use every day, tried, true, tested. This is my actual stuff, the things I take with me when I travel anywhere, and some of my favorite daily luxuries. It is truly nothing fancy, and that is what feels good about it. The daily things are the best things, after all. Was it Annie Dillard who said, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives”?

Ok, here are all my favorite things!

Babaa Cardigan (my actual one is blue wool, this is the same style in cotton! Babaa sweaters are admittedly expensive, but they are extremely worth the price. I have bought all three of mine secondhand — there are many out there! They will be in my closet forever!)

Hair Milk (this came in the incredible Liberty Advent Calendar my husband got me last year, and besides a perfume is my favorite new discovery. I love the way it smells and makes my hair feel!)

Classic Baseball Cap (a daily accessory for me anytime I leave the house. I have a few that I rotate. I don’t own this exact one — but this color is what I would want to add to my collection!)

Everyday Earrings (I never take these earrings out. They are comfortable because they create a full loop behind the ear, and they still look brand new in spite of the fact that I wear them literally 24/7!)

Cut Flower Seeds (it took me so long to start a garden, and now I will grow flowers until the day I die! Seeds make a great gift!)

Airpods (truly a ride-or-die tool for me, listening to an audiobook while my kids run around at the park or while I do dishes is a lifeline for my mind)

Laser Printer (listen, this printer works, it is quick, it is cheap to run, and it makes things from your computer become REAL! make a zine! once you try it you’ll be hooked!)

Kaweco Sport Fountain Pen (I love the size, weight and feel of these pens, and love even more how they write!)

Midori Notebook (favorite notebook many years running. I usually use the gridded one, but the ruled one is great too and a little more mainstream.)

Aura Frame (we have this in our living room with hundreds of photos loaded onto it, and my kids love to look at it and talk about the pictures every day! the screen is very high quality and the frame is pretty which makes the whole thing look less tech-y)

Book Light (I’ve talked about this book light before, I love it so much. It allows me to read at night in bed next to my sleeping kids. It’s dimmable, rechargeable, and folds up small. Very good book light.)

Excellent Fiction (This is my most recent fave — fiction has become my favorite escape this year. Books will always be my favorite things!)

Sunroom Flyer Club (My favorite little luxury! Every month Sunroom sends a new riso flyer and they are all so beautiful. I have them hanging all over my house and they make me happy every time I see them.)

East Fork Mug (First mug I reach for when it’s time for afternoon tea. It’s big, it’s beautiful, it’s perfect. I contemplate buying a second one, but there’s something special about just having the one and washing it over and over.)

Fanny Pack (I’m a fanny pack mom! It is what it is! I wear it slung over my shoulder, as is the style these days. I was an og baggu fan, so I feel a bit smug about the hype now — been here since the beginning! I have an old leather baggu wallet [this style but oxblood] that is like 14 years old now, and still going so strong!)

Milk Frother (Best milk frother I’ve ever had, used daily for afternoon tea lattes and very, very beloved)

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These are the things I love and use. There are others too, of course, but this is the list of today. There is not much else that I need. I wonder what will get added to this list in the future? I’m in the market for a new pair of transitional shoes for medium weather. I don’t quite know what I’m looking for. I could use another bag as well, but again, I don’t quite know what I want. (First place I look for new things is Noisaf Bazaar!) I really have everything I need. All the items listed here are very high-touch in my life, used daily or nearly that often. Neither of these are urgent needs.

I want some nice socks, little wooden tongs, fancy beeswax candles. I will not buy these things for myself. Because of congress’ refusal to extend the ACA enhanced subsidies, our family’s health insurance is doubling from $300/month to $600+/month next year, which will really spread us thin. Everything is so bleak. I’ve honestly never been so anxious about money before, and I know I’m not alone in that feeling. Things aren’t great! So… I’m not buying anything beyond necessities right now. Even putting an extra little treat in my cart at the grocery store feels risky these days. How do we move through the precarity so many of us are feeling, especially during a season that is constantly trying to sell us new stuff we can’t afford?

Looking at this list of things I truly love and use everyday, I feel unbelievably rich. The luxury! The utility! The beauty! I am rich in love, rich in time, and I have everything I need and more. Looking at things that way makes the money worries seem much less important. These lovely things are woven into the fabric of my life, act as “givens” within the drama of my days. Objects matter. The things we touch and use and handle do seep into us, little by little.

A lot of these things I bought initially because someone else I thought was cool had them. That’s great! Influence is important, we are guided by our attachments to others, we seek inspiration everywhere. But it strikes me that over time these things have become my own. This assortment, this collection, it is distinctively Amy, and that makes me feel happy. Finding out way to our own particularity takes trying a lot of things on for size. What fits? What is right? How do you find what you like?

Could I walk into an incredible little shop today and walk away with something I adore? Absolutely. If I had an extra $1000, could I spend it in an afternoon? Easily! But that’s not what I want out of life, not really. I want to move slowly and deliberately. I enjoy limitations and deep time. I want things that travel with me through life. I want a small amount of things I truly use. I want to be very particular, to be distinctly myself. I want to feel good using the things I have. And I want to add new favorite things slowly and surely, when the time is right, not just because it’s that time of the year. It is so overwhelming to think that everything has to be new all the time. What about the old stand-by’s in your life, the things that are distinctly yours? That’s what I want more of, all year long.

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What are your favorite things? I truly, truly want to know!

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raindrops on roses!
xoxo,
Amy